One of my wife's favorite things is reality television. After work and dinner she'll settle down onto our couch with a snack and a blanket and DVR through hours of programming. And while she swears she watches these programs because of their "entertainment value" (and sometimes even admits the "stars" are her "friends" because she feels like she "knows" them), she's unwittingly become a victim of the fallacy of reality television.
As we approach Memorial Day, our lives become
engrossed with activity. We groan and stretch and shake off the dust of winter to
indulge in all things outdoors. For us in the Northeast, we can finally be
outside at night without fear of a slow and frosty death. The bugs come out,
and make that constant, low, numbing drone. Joggers come out and prowl the
streets like rich, starving feral dogs. Some wear those shoes which you must wriggle your
individual toes into.
"You think you know about pain? Talk to my second wife. When she was
nineteen she got between a couple of fighting cats, and one of them went
at her, climbed her like a tree, tore gashes out of her thighs and
breasts and belly that you can still see today. She got thirty stitches
and a fever that lasted for days. My second wife says that's pain. She
doesn't know shit, that woman."
Two vastly different trailers debuted this week but each is equally exciting. Paul Thomas Anderson's "The Master" and an introduction to "Anchorman: The Legend Continues", declaring it is happening and the entire news team is up to the challenge.
Recently I took a trip through the northern regions of New England. Besides the ubiquity of trees, scarcity of cars and remnants of hurricane Irene's destruction, I saw another inexplicable thing: Ron Paul banners.
Jack Ketchum once said, "When I'm writing at my best, what I'm trying to do, I find, is to point out how some people poison the world for the rest of us, who are only trying to live humanely and lovingly. It's a warning against the "others," and a call to awareness, strength, and gentleness." That pretty much sums up what prelude to the end of the world is all about.
Back in my college years Facebook was a strange medium. Its crude template and limited scope actually made it appealing, though. The same can be said about its allowances: only college students, only specific settings, and only as a platform for those who were rejecting something "greater," usually studying or writing essays. Over the years, however, Facebook has morphed into something "greater" than a social network--it has become legendary. It has become a phenomenon, unparalleled in nearly anything since the advent of the personal computer. But its plague-like spread is something to deeply consider; furthermore, where is Facebook going, was it right to allow anyone to join, was it and is it smart to continuously change and update formats and expand what can be done on the once-crude platform? Facebook is here to stay, but it's just spinning in circles at this point.
There's a lot of rhetoric in the news lately about just what it means to be "conservative." But the answers are convoluted and cumbersome. Is it an ideological identity? Is it a voting designation? Is it a pigeonhole? Is it comprised of a specific values system? Is it even definable?
In this quest there is only one thing for certain: the answer is uncertain.
I read somewhere that the number one thing that makes a man "undateable" is dipping tobacco. I couldn't disagree more. Nothing says "I am a Man!" like sending a stream of brown tobacco juice from one's mouth every 20 seconds.
Dip: Makes you feel like you're on a fishing trip with a big-breasted Scandinavian woman.
There has been much talk lately of Mitt Romney's past, which includes pranks and a homophobic beat-down. But what bothers me is something much stranger, much deeper in the heart of Mr. Romney. Also he encounters John Travolta and loses his mind in the process.
I purchased an iphone yesterday. Just typing that sentence sent endorphines streaming through my brain. This glorious device has revolutionized the world of cellular communication. The days of not being able to book a reservation while simultaneously video-chatting is over. Finally, some balance is restored to the Universe.
A few months back, Iran proudly displayed what looks like an American-made stealth drone. This high-technology piece was over Iran when the United States lost command of it. The drone was confiscated by the Iranians, who refused to return the aircraft.
Iran claimed to be reverse engineering the drone and retrieving all of its information and encrypted files. An Iranian minister went as far as saying the files were being retrieved through "the grace of God." A Pentagon official, speaking to an American publication on the condition of anonymity, quipped that these series of events "sounds like complete bullshit." There is nothing like American candor.